I have been particularly piss poor in writing any sort of anything lately and I told myself that when I completed Fable 3 (though completion is in the eye of the beholder) I would start writing again. I always set these mental goals for myself in all facets of my life (running, writing, working, etc) and they always end up getting toyed with – again, in my head – before the end result actually sees any sort of physical manifestation. So here it is you (and you and you) are the witness – I am writing.
For those of you who do not know, and I’d imagine there are a lot of you, I have tasked myself with writing a book. I always have wanted to, I was just waiting for the right moment. I then had decided that I didn’t want to wait a lifetime for a “moment” to come along so I decided to make my own moment.
I have decided I am going for the route of a novel but I (usually while running) am plagued with ideas for different stories (short or otherwise) that I would like to put on paper. I feel like I am feeling my way around this whole new world that has all of these hidden rules. I am pretty sure that is just my crazy seeping through though. It is better to have all of these ideas constantly flowing instead of just one good one – right?
All of these ideas always remind me of a line from Throw Mama from the Train which is, “A writer writes, always.” It is an extraordinarily comforting thought that puts my mind at ease when it is constantly running away with new ideas. I am sure there will come a day when I long for the days of yesteryear when I wasn’t on a deadline to put out a new book (a man can dream can’t he).
And then there’s that right there, my uncertainty about my future as a writer. I have always had it in my head that I will do something with my writing and yet I want to doubt it at every turn. I feel writing is something so simple that anyone can do and that all of these ideas are shit.
Won’t know until someone reads it though.
Lately I’ve been thinking that my life stories (you know all the tons of them that I have from my 25 years of life) would make an interesting read but then that uncertainty kicks in and says, “Who wants to read a memoir of a writer that never wrote anything of substance?” I should wait until I have penned something of substance.
Am I boring you? Probably. This is because I have run my train of thought and yet I still want to manage 500 or so more words.
I am turning a blog post into a writing exercise using life as an easy topic so I don’t have to do all of the creating. I think the hardest thing is coming up with believable characters who have real problems and don’t sound like plastic mannequins when they speak. That is to say that I want the dialogue to sound believable instead of something out of a trashy pulp novel.
My idea is a 1000 words a day right here should have me back writing my book in no time flat. I suppose my ideas are going to run their course quickly because most of the time I figure that my day to day is monotonous enough that it could put anyone to sleep.
Scanning through this entry I see how disjointed my thought process is but in the spirit of making this more interesting I am going to leave out any editing.
Thank you or your welcome depending on how you are feeling right now.
I think you are lying to me WordPress…. let me actually count these words myself… 1, 2, 3… 4, oh this isn’t going to work.
Does this count as filler?
I’m sorry… this is all I have. I suppose that is the spirit of exercising – to get better. I could have really gone off the deep end though and talked about every which topic but I’ll spare you until tomorrow and today we will just keep it about writing.
712. Fuck you WordPress Word Count.