So The New Year is here. With it hasn’t yet brought any exceptional surprise and the one promise I made to myself has yet to come to fruition. I haven’t put a single word down. I’m scared again: of failure, that it won’t be any good, etc.
I’ve even been hesitant to write anything here which explains the lack of a real New Years post. I need to get over this New Year bout of minor depression and self doubt.
I haven’t even read a page of a book despite my other promise to read at least 50 books this year. I still have it in my head to do this but every time I pick up the book I just can’t concentrate.
I am in a temporary debilitating downward spiral that I have to force myself out of despite the fact that every time I try I just get discouraged.
At least I am writing something here.
Right now I am headed to work and when I actually publish this I’ll already be at work. (In actuality I am publishing this the following day on my phone because the Internet is out for some reason.)
Right now my heart is jumping out of my chest because of the too-many cups of coffee I’ve had this morning. I hate that about coffee sometimes; sometimes it works too well and the other, most of the, times it doesn’t seem to work at all other than the fact that I don’t feel like a zombie anymore.
Perhaps it is time to give up caffeine again, for a short time, as I have done before. It has been a while since I have done this so perhaps it is due.
That isn’t stopping from brewing a pot right now (again this piece was written today while the rest was written yesterday on the train.)