I’ve been in and out of therapy but even that hadn’t helped me unlock my past. We, the therapist and I, even decided to give hypnotherapy a shot but all that served to do was help me remember how I felt when I lost my puppy when I was eight years old. No joke. I sobbed for hours. I wasn’t looking for a crying session though, I wanted to feel less emotionally numb, more present.
For as long as I can remember I’ve been emotionally numb. It takes the score of a particularly sad movie to help me unlock the tears and then I’m only crying about a movie, aren’t I?
I’m thinking that I need to get this out. To tell a story word for word, moment to moment, and hope that as I reach the end my emotional amnesia is quelled.
The end product will be the barking of my soul to you though I have no reservations about what this is: a selfish act. I’ll purge this weight.
The story begins at the end of the school year marking my thirteenth year.