My parents don’t own a computer so by proxy I don’t own a computer. They believe that as a species we will rely on computers too much and in a few short years we won’t be able to think for ourselves. “We can’t rely on machines for everything,” mother always says before using the machine that dries her hair every morning. I don’t see her using a washboard and clothes line for our clothes; no, like every civilized human being she uses a washer and dryer. Oh the hypocrisy.
My only computer uses comes at school or at the local library (where you have 45 minutes of heavily monitored computer use). Despite having not used a computer as many others I have excelled in the field of computer sciences (of course no surprise here). I’ve read the computer teacher’s dusty books and managed to teach myself a few programming languages though the only thing it has been good for was pulling a few pranks.
On one such occasion I erased all of the school’s newly digitized records and stored them on several of my personal hard drives. I tried to play the hero when I miraculously recovered all the missing data; it didn’t go as planned. The teacher’s weren’t fooled and all it served to get me was a disabled username.
It was lucky that I had spent so much time learning to bypass the library’s time limit. All that needed to be done was to adjust some settings and create a fake login. With just a few keystrokes I used the computer at my leisure.
So after I read the tour guide, cover to cover in one afternoon, the only thing I could supplement this information with was my father’s outdated Encyclopedia Britannica collection. No computer necessary.