Other than the fact that one reading this blog can see it themselves I will state the obvious for those who do not read on a regular basis: I am out of my writing habit.
You know this because over the past three months or so there have been one or less updates a week. I know this because every time I go to write I am paralyzed by the fear of putting something down. Or not so much fear but when I think about writing a post or finishing up something that I have been working on I get a heavy feeling in my chest that only goes away when I stop thinking about writing.
I also think about the fact that I’m not writing and how guilty I feel about it. The guilt pertains to myself and not anything I feel like I owe anyone else but if I do write something down and I don’t publish it here I do then feel guilty about that.
With that being said here is the best sentence I have written over the past two weeks:
She was thin; her body was nothing more than four sticks attached to an equally thin body. It looked as though when she walked that her knees shouldn’t bend.
I thought this sentence, which I edited into two, was much better when I wrote it six days ago. The problem is that I didn’t get to properly complete the thought (as I had it as I was walking up the stairs of my apartment building) and I can’t remember the thread that I was on when I wrote it.
My hope is that in writing this complaint post that I will continue writing something because at least this is something. I want to get back to the point that I was at a few months ago where I was overwhelmed by new ideas every single day.